I HAVE FINALLY FIGURED OUT HOW TO WORK THE GODDAMNED COFFEE LIDS IN THIS CITY. I know, gold star for me. But I feel a sense of accomplishment, and I'm going to share it with you. You lucky devils!

So the lids on most of the take-away cups of coffee are all the same. At least, at all the coffee establishments I patronize. They're not the idiot-proof Solo lids that are sort of raised and have an existing hole for you to sip out of. These are flat, and you have to tear away a flap and fold it back to make a drinking hole. These lids have been the bane of my existence for, oh, about a year now, because the damn flap won't stay open. There's a rim on the lid, and there's a corresponding valley-like area to accommodate the rim when the flap is folded back. You would think that the valley-like area would snugly hold the rim and keep it from flopping on your nose when you drink, right? Right. Well, it doesn't work like that. The valley-like area just doesn't secure the flap, and you have to hold a finger over the flap while you drink, lest you get coffee dribbles and condensation on the bridge of your nose as you sip. Irritating!

So - in my post-Halloween exhausted stupor - I took some time to study the engineering of the lid before opening the tab. Normally I couldn't be bothered to study a coffee lid, but I'm kind of spacey right now, y'know? Well, I've figured it out. There a NIB. THERE'S A FUCKING NIB. I've been pressing the coffee lid flap in the wrong place (by the rim and the valley-like area) this whole time, and of course none of the pressure applied goes to the nib. If you press the flap at the other end, close to where it hinges with the lid, you can pop the nib into a snug little nib-shaped hole, and VOILA! The FLAP STAYS OPEN!

Now, if I only I could train my baristas to stop giving me my coffee in a bag, this city would be perfect.